My daughter’s father married his long-time girlfriend this year. I learned about it yesterday through his Friendster profile. I experienced mixed emotions of being happy for him and being sad for our daughter.
We parted ways months after my college graduation. I guess, it would be better defined as “I dumped him months after my college graduation.” At that time, I was so angry at him for the following reasons:
1. He didn’t show any concern for our baby. He was afraid of the responsibilities of parenthood.
2. He didn’t fight for me in the real sense of the word.
3. The third reason is very personal. I’d rather not share it.
He tried to win me back for three years but I was so in love with PV; I didn’t give him the opportunity for a second chance. (PV and I went steady a month after my break up with my daughter’s father) But I gave him all the chances to be a good father. I gave him the liberty to visit our daughter every weekend. I hated him for what he has done to me but at the same time, I wanted him to be a good father if he couldn’t be a good husband.
He dated my officemate and it was fine with me. I wanted him to end up with her. During their first months of dating, there were no hassles among us three. It was like a tale in the movie, all four of us were just enjoying our life: me and PV and he and his new girl.
Things took a different turn when he and his girl decided to cut ties with me. It was fine with me because I wanted to focus on my relationship with PV. I wanted my ex out of my life but not out of our daughter’s life. He seemed so bent on forgetting me; he neglected his responsibilities to our daughter.
I didn’t take things sitting down. I wrote an e-mail addressed to him and his girl about his responsibilities and obligations to our daughter. They didn’t reply. After a couple of text messages and e-mail, I gave up.
I took the responsibility of providing for our daughter alone. I didn’t communicate with him for six months much to PV’s satisfaction. One time, I asked if we could see each other. He agreed and we had dinner at a cozy restaurant; his treat. We just talked about our good times with our present partner. It was an hour of fun, I forgot about our gap.
When I moved to another place, I lost in touch with him. The cellphone signal was not good in my new area. For two months, he was always on my dreams. I asked my former officemate if he knew what happened to my ex. He said that my ex went abroad to work. After that, I stopped dreaming of him. In a way, he was still connected to me because I could feel him. I got a missed call from him on December 25, 2006. I texted “Merry Christmas” but he did not reply.
He doesn’t forget to greet me on Mother’s Day. Could it be because deep inside his heart, he knows that I am a good mother? Almost two years have passed without much information about him that is why I was a little shocked to see his new profile—MARRIED.
Would it mean a total shutdown of opportunity to keep him bonded with our daughter? Would it mean a new life with a new family and totally forgetting the ones he had before (me and our daughter)?
I mentioned to Joel (my good friend) how I felt and with his old caring way, he insinuated that I should not be feeling that way towards my ex because I am getting married, too next year. So maybe, I shall wait for the day until my ex becomes a father to our daughter. Best wishes, my ex! Wish me luck next year, too!